You're so brilliant, don't soon forget. this is the correlation between who you are and what you've been.

Dropped my heart at the door,
and saw the pieces scatter on the floor.

Asked you to tell me what was happening,
demanded to know the secrets you keep hiding.

You could only smile and tell me to wait.
why do you like to frustrate the life out of me?

cities painted on canvas
like the swirling masses

cannot describe the desolation
we left behind in our hastened decision

we watched the house burn along with all the memories
that drained all the energy out of me. there is algebra in gasoline.

tell me where the interstate ends.
waiting for my world to cave underneath me again.

Broken mirrors and promises
like souls shattered messes

driving till the earth stops revolving
or the revolving door quits solving

too busy to notice the beauty in nature
nothing is sound yet all things we must endure

dreams. hopes. wishes. crumble in our fragile hands.
because we did not want to give them to the One with bigger plans.

You'll have to pry them from my cold dead fingers.
now all that's left is morbid silent screams of those old records.

Driving Lessons

((need to get that movie btw.))

((*cough* another good birthday gift idea*cough* ^.^))

Yeah. My dad took me driving several times around the block today. It was unnerving, but my dad said I had definately learned some skills in my first lesson. When you get behind that wheel you have power... and it is flippin scary. omg! lemme tell you, but I seem to keep a good head under pressure. I noticed that when I nearly lost control of the wheel and almost crashed into the curb. It was a close save... too close... anyways... the stephenie meyer website has some new updates on the Twilight movie that's coming out in December. ((*groan* so painfully far away... not that my parents would probably let me watch it anyways... -.-**)) They made the Cedric Diggory guy look... o.0; i dunno, weird. ((DANGG... i can never remember his proper name... xPP gr....)) like he looks younger and older at the same time.



the guy who is in this one is MUCH more suitable for Edward. *squee* ^.^

Sensations

Strange feelings I can't explain
It's almost a nostalgic sort of thing
when i think about him
my head spins
i feel dizzy and light-headed
sweet dear what is this odd mindset
i see down the road is clear and wet
the rain has washed the path clean
making everything seem beautiful
If I think about living without him my stomach churns
when i think of a life forever with him my heart burns
now i know I love him to death and cannot live without him
if i cannot spend the rest of my days with him, i shall not love any other man
after all,

no self-respecting man is expected
to go on loving once he's been rejected

In the Middle of It All

So I'm sitting here in fourth period in my online creative writing class. I'm done all my work. I've been bummin the last two days in this class. I have a really excellent story idea, but whenever I try to write down something, I get new ideas, but those new ideas don't fit with the old ones I've already written down and I'm doing the story in pen and I really hate to rip out pages and start over but it's looking like that's what I'm going to have to do. Some of the stuff I put in there is kinda really retarded, but other stuff is keepable. I'm thinkin I'm gonna get my friend Lindsey Bostick to help me write it, cuz she really wants to do that and I'm struggling to strand my ideas together properly so, yeah. I know I haven't written in like a superbly long time, but one i've been grounded and two my life is a complete snore-fest. My parents won't let me read the book I wanna read and that depresses and frustrates the life outta me. plus I'm feeling like the ultimate hypocrite cuz of stuff that's happening on the bus. Man, I wish i could freakin drive. I hate this crap. oye. anyways... yeah... i guess this entry is pretty much a vent of what's happened in no detail at all. Which is weird for me cuz usually i have to go and scrutinize every tiny event that occurs in my life but lately I've just been like "bleh" about all of it. I'm like, "you know what? screw this. this is retarded." Anyways... I'm trying to read the Bible thru in a year. heh. good luck with that one. I still haven't read the passages for today. I think I might read them at lunch. or try to anyways... hopefully the scriptures will act as a "re-sensitizing" mechanism and I can get my head back where it needs to be. Lord knows it's been too long since I've had a good healthy dose of reality.

You know when a rat finds a new dumpster full of newly chucked food and he thinks he'll be dining like a king? Then when he eats it he doesn't know what it is but it tastes really good. He doesn't realize he's eating poisoned food that will make him sick. Then it's like a little boy finds him walking around one day and thinks he looks cute so he takes the rat home and starts feeding it proper food. It doesn't taste right. In fact it tastes downright foul, but the rat somehow warms up to the good food and realizes what he was eating before wasn't good for him. Well... I was that rat... and the little boy who found me... was God. Just puts in perspective how good I feel about myself right about now. *sarcasm* But then there's no mom to go and scream at the little boy and tell him to get the vermin out of the house. Which I am EXTREMELY happy about. xP