L♥v3 $+rUcK

Limited funds
mediocre car
family troubles

wants to get away
wants to stop hurting so bad
wants me

why does love takes so much out of you
why is it so hard to remain happy in love
why do we care what other people think

how do i have so much when he is struggling with faith
how do i find it so easy to believe when he's confused and lost
how do i help him find his way back into God's arms

definately not perfect
definately not rich
definately not with an ulterior motive

100% in love
100% forever yours
100% forever mine

Wishlist

Ah! the yearly WISHLIST that is so desirable these days. (in no specific order)
[♪=music CD]

• Zelda and the Majora's Mask for Nintendo 64
• Harry Potter PS2 games (any/all)
• Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix DVD
• Spiderman 3 DVD
• Iron Man DVD
• WALL-E DVD
• The Hulk DVD
• The Fantastic Four (1 & 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer)
• the new, modern Indiana Jones movie (with Shia LeBouf)
• anything Twilight related (Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn, Twilight Soundtrack, etc.)
• The Host by Stephenie Meyer
• R.E.D.--Breaking the Silence♪
• Thousand Foot Krutch♪
• Skillet-Alien Youth♪
• Mute Math♪
• Lost Prophets♪
• Krystal Meyers-Make Some Noise♪
• Maroon 5♪
• Burned by Ellen Hopkins
• Glass by Ellen Hopkins
• Newsboys-Go♪
• Frou Frou-Let Go♪
• Inkdeath by Caroline Funke
• Snow Patrol♪
• The Killers♪
• Daft Punk♪
• another sketch/drawing book
• Viva La Vida Coldplay♪
• Fall Out Boy♪
• My Chemical Romance (i already have the black parade)♪
• Panic! at the Disco♪
• Impulse by Ellen Hopkins
• any iTunes giftcard
• Motion City Soundtrack♪
• Moonlit♪
• Falling Up♪
• Emery♪ (i already have While Broken Hearts Prevail)
• Demon Hunter♪
• Kindom Hearts and/or Kingdom Hearts II for PS2

and that's pretty much it... this list may be every expanding and i might be adding more to it if i ever think of anything else, but this is it for now...

Equal Parts Mary as Martha

I spent an hour in the 24/7 prayer room this morning before my volunteering started at Bible Jam up at WAIO today. It made me feel immaculate, like nothing could touch me. The presence of God abides there in that place. I love it. Its peaceful and quiet. It gives you time to think and sing, and pray and everything. It's SO wonderful; I wish I never had to leave, but ya know.
Ya live some, ya give some. You listen some, you serve some. It's like that Mary and Martha story... not all Mary, but not all Martha either... just balanced. Short little excerpt here i know, but I am particularly uninspired this day. My mind is consumed, by body is exhausted, my spirit is resting, my soul is free... and this i know to be true

"La La La" by The Bird and the Bee

La, la la la
La la la la, la la la
La la la la, come on
Come on, come on

Make yourself free
Make yourself grow
Come on, up into the attic
Come and see the glow
A pretty idiot is kissing
Everyone she doesn't know
And the pigs are eating popcorn
Selling tickets to the show

Give yourself away
Feel the wind blow
Watching movies on the ceiling
All the artists we know
If there's someone you don't like
You don't have say hello
There's no reason you should leave
There's no reason you should go

La, la la la
La la la la, la la la
La la la la, come on
Come on, come on

Take yourself out
Hit the tambourine
We have loaded up your eyes
And fed you tangerines
If you open up your box
You will find a type machine
If you try to find a scratch
There'll be no signs where you have been

Give yourself up
Make yourself sing
Don't tell us that you can't
You need assembling
Da da da, da da da da da
Da da da, da da da da da

La, la la la
La la la la, la la la
La la la la, come on
Come on, come on

Da da da, da da da da da
Da da da, da da da da da

La, la la la
La la la la, la la la
La la la la, come on
Come on, come on

La, la la la
La la la la, la la la
La la la la, come on
Come on, come on

Bilgewater

OMG! I forgot to mention. A couple days before school was out I was sitting in Mrs. Ader's class watching Huckleberry Finn and I didn't realize it until they rolled the credits, but Huck was none other than the young (can I get a drum roll plz.: dun da da DAH!) No lie that's Elijah Wood! Yeah, the same Elijah Wood who played the adorable Frodo Baggins in Lord of the Rings!! AND I looked up on IMDb (internet movie database for those of you who don't know) HE ALSO PLAYS SPYRO IN THE 2 LATEST SPYRO GAMES! OMG!! The Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon (2008 pre-production) and Legend of Spyro: The Eternal Night (2007). [:0] Incredible, eh? OH! not to mention HE PLAYED MUMBLE ON HAPPY FEET!! *squee* ^.^ lol. anyways...


*sigh* GAH! that boy is pretty... *dreamy stare* okay, lemme stop before i start drooling.... oh wait...


I ALREADY AM CUZ I GOT MY DANGG BABY TOOTH PULLED!! grr... my mouth feels all retarded cuz the dentist numbed it and stuff... bleh. I can't feel most of the right side of my face. ARRGGH!!

MAHN! that boy's eyes are powerful! they're so light, you just look at him and you jump cuz his eyes attack you with their sparkly awesomeness. hm... my mom is looking at other photographers' sites and there's a really pretty re-dub of somewhere over the rainbow. a guy sings it but i don't know who... eh, oh well. well, i gotta go pack for Gulf Shores tomorrow. We're supposed to be leaving at like 6 am. (heh heh. but as we all know a fat lots THAT'S going to happen. lol) well, later days. (lol. yeah i stole that off the weekenders tv show heh heh)

And So We Go

HEY MAHN! Look at me rockin' OUT! I'm on the RADIO.
HEY MAHN! Look at me rockin' OUT! I'm on the VIDEO!!
(System of a Down)

Here I go again
I have to pretend everything's all right
Here it comes again
this irrevocable feelin
I'm in the strangest state
I don't know whether to freak out or play it cool
I put on a fake plaster to make you think I'm happy
because I know that you want me to be okay
So I pretend I'm okay
I pretend I'm alright
but my vicious dreams cannot deny the truth
the reality of the matter is
no matter what i can never be happy as you want me to be
with out divine intervention
do you believe it?
well you'd better cuz its the only truth that exists in my world.
And no matter how much you say that i'm so close to perfect you can taste it
I will never, ever be good enough
Yeah I will never, never be what you want for me
This phony life, I will never get it right
Tell me I'm alright...
Tell me I'm okay...
cuz I don't believe it one bit, no not one bit.
Santa Monica, Sunset and Hollywood Blvd.;
Fourth, Fremont and SW College St.
NW Madison Ave.

get ready get ready cuz i'm happenin get ready get ready cuz i'm on the scene

Been listenin to Avril Lavigne lately. Sure, some of her lyrics are sketchy, but meh... ain't nuthing that can stop the rock and roll that owns my soul.

heh just testing formatting stuffs...

It seems to me that music and poetry and God really are the only things that keep me sane and tied down to reality.

wiznatch... random words... muahaha... yeah that's really how bored i am... UGH! i wish my dad would just LEMME WATCH INU YASHA!!!!! GAH!!! rawr. hey! i forgot i made that icon. ^.^ cooly. xD yeah. i'm lame. ON TO THE NEXT ONE... or is it OFF TO THE NEXT ONE... oh well. xP and i really have to go to the bathroom. **-.- meh... wow... weird named people are calling the house... oh well... bleh.

LIKE A FAT KID IN SPANDEX!!
dangg... well... i hope these icons end up moving like they're supposed to... XP
gr... they don't... bleh...
well... tha's what it was SUPPOSED TO SAY... *gutteral growl* anyways.... *sigh*

OH! hey. i know. i can check the stephenie meyer website... YEAH! cuz i gotta see the new trailor OF COURSE!! WOOT! catchya laterz! *ish exited now* YEAY!

I never thought I'd see that day...

I don't know whether you can read that or not, but I made that in Creative Writing class. (read prior entries for more details on the class). I'm tired and hungry and I believe this little baby is a prophecy----->

Old Piano and the Dumbing Down of Love

What's that you're saying there oh well
rain rushing window pain
can't see what space i'm in oh well
but i'm safe inside me here oh well...

Can you hear the sound of the Old Piano playing in the back ground.
Who you ask plays so well? Oh that's just Frou Frou, Imogen Heap. Immi for short. Would you like to hear another of her selections?

Well painted passion
You rightly suspect
Impersonation
The dumbing down of love
Jaded in anger
Love underwhelms you
No box of chocolates
Whichever way you fall
And if I tell you
Lover alone without love
What will happen
Lover alone without love
Will you miss him?
Lover alone without--without love
No, no I'll get this
I want to treat you
You're still not famous
And you haven't struck it rich
Underachieving
'Cause no one's receiving
This tunnel vision
It's turning out all wrong
And if I tell you
Lover alone without love
What will happen
Lover alone without love
Will you miss him?
Love alone without, without love
Music is worthless, unless it can
Make a complete stranger
Break down and cry
And if I tell you
Lover alone without love
And what will happen
Lover alone without love
And will you listen
Lover alone without, without love
Without love
Without love

And that's the Dumbing Down of Love...♥

GNO

What up holmes? So I'm bored, chillin in Creative Writing class with nothin to do becuase the semester's nearly over. HOLY CRAP! i'm gonna be a junior next year.... FREAK OUT!! dangg.... less than a week till school's out AND I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE ANY EXAMS WOOT WOOT!! frikn SWEET! enty ways... um... I'm hungry... I have "Mirror" by Barlow Girl stuck in my head. I wonder what songs we're going to do for youth band tonight. I hope it's the good songs. ugh. if i don't have h/w i have to start cleaning the basement (which, I might add, REEKS of dog bile because my stupid dog got sick or something and decided to throw up all over the place in the kennel). OMG! i almost forgot! i'm having some friends over for a sleep over friday night and we're gonna watch the Inu Yasha movies!! Then another one of my friends is coming over saturday morning and we're gonna hang out and do stuff all day... or well that's what i was hoping... we might only be hanging at my house till around noon because my mom said that my dad had something planned for us (the Knott family) to do for the afternoon. Emmy and I traded bracelettes for the day. she borrowed my piano bracelette and i borrowed her sparkly aqua bracelette with dull spiky things on it. I'll have to take a picture of it and post it up later. anyways... hm... what else...

♥ .:.}|{.:.This is how the [♪] beat (♪) drops. ♥ .:.}|{.:.This is how the [♪] beat (♪) drops...

Move a little faster darling
See what we can do tonight
Tell me what you want and I will
See what I can do

I can make the city lights flash for you
I'll make those flood lights wash over you
I'd make you fabulous
I'm making you
GORGEOUS

Try a little harder baby
See what we can accomplish tonight
Tell me what you wanna see and I'll find out
if I can help you out

I can make the sun and moon shine for you
I'll make those stars envious of you
I'd make you fabulous
I'm making you
Gorgeous

Drive a bit little faster honey
See what these good looks are made of
Tell me what your all about now
I'll tell you what it's all about now

I can make your little candle a raging fire
I'll take that blaze and set the world aflame
I'd make you fabulous
I'm making you
Gorgeous

Speak up a bit louder sugar
See what your lips can do
Tell me what your heart desires
Let me be good to you

I can make you feel things you never felt
I'll make the time worth your while
I wouldn't take no for an answer
I'm gonna make you mine.

God the Ruler of all existence is speaking to ya now
He loves you with every once of Himself
He sweet-talks you to simply call you His
If only to care for and cherish
to Himself
He wants to draw closer in
He wants to make you famous
He wants to make you a world changer,
a supporter and believer of the cause,
a history maker

New Hair

People who wanna see meh new haircut ch'ere:

No, I wasn't being emo when I took this pic... actually I didn't even take it; my mom did. Anyways, point is SPIFFEH!!

This is what it looked like before I got it cut:

LAME!! yeah I know. but its all cutified now. yes i just made that word up.

LATUH HATUHZ! ANDIE FOO OUT!

Hate Something Beautiful

V1.
Hate the clouds, hate the rain, hate the sky, mercy and falling grace.
Hate the sun, hate the birds, hate the songs, the happiness and joy that breaks one's soul.
Hate the trees, hate the earth, hate the grass, the people, the flowers...
Hate life, hate love, hate sin and sinners alike

Ch.
Why? Why do we hate?
Why do we suffocate all that is slowly fading away?
How? How can we dare to not care?
How can we be so cruel and unfair?
What? What do we do? What can we do
to turn our lives around and forget that
we could ever hate something beautiful.

v2.
Hate the light, hate the dark, hate the night, hate the stars
hate disillusions, hate the deception, hate the pessimistic optimism, the optimistic pessimism
hate the world, the universe, and all the inbetween
hate the illusions, hate reality, hate the daydreams and nightmares alike

What's cooler than a brand new box of crayons?

The smell of ruffling papers. The aroma of words, the pigment of the ink soaking through to the pages below. The fragrance of poetry. The ambriosa of hollow art. The beautiful scent of the parchment pieces bringing my thoughts to life; telling you what I know; speaking up, speaking out, speaking to you what I believe to be true. Reaching up, reaching out, reaching over, reaching to the ends of the earth. Spinning around along with this world. If I could stretch myself across oceans for you, you know I would. Everything would be glorious and perfect for you if the world only knew. How much you mean to me, how much you mean to the world. You are more than you could have ever dreamed, so enticing to me it seems.
Sparkling, shining, carressing arms...
smiling, glowing, charming face...
careening, dancing, wildly out of control for you...
crashing into your hands...

How to Find the Meaning in and of the Worthlessness

Hold the drawing pencil in my hand
Nothing ever turns out right
Masterful is something I’ll never be
Only in my dreams
Only in my dreams

And is life just a bunch of crumpled pages on my bedroom floor?
Did I happen to leave my heart in pieces at the door?
When everything just seems so dark, there has to be something more.
There has to be something more.

Hands folded on my chest now
Staring up at the sky
Looking at the clouds
Dreaming of what I could be
Dreaming of what I could be

And is life really just all of us going around on cable cars
Same routine, same circles, I look for answers in the stars
When did everything come to a stand still in scenes thick with smoke from cigars?
Yeah, I hate the smoke that comes from cigarettes and cigars.

Telling myself not to do things that are bad for my mental health
Shivering hands because I don’t know what to do
Fiddling with this and fidgeting with that trying to preoccupy my mind
I’m so bored
Oh, I’m so bored

And is life just a stack of old magazine and newspaper ads?
When did our existence become solely living for the fads?
What happened to complicate the system and cause us to go mad?
What caused us to go mad?

What lies the distance?
Between dreams and reality?
A void, a void, a void so deep,
To bridge this gap so steep.
And what? What? What lies the distance?
Between what we have been
And what we are today
And what we’re supposed to be?
Redemption.
Redemption.
Redemption.
Redemption.

.:.}|{.:.taste it.:.}|{.:.

Tanks and canisters of boiling blood
Torrential storms of the amount spilled
Black and white photographs
Morbid memories consume the empty spaces

The sister garlanded maiden
The brotherhood abandoned
Flesh and bones, incarcerated
Imprisoned, disheveled, isolated

Burning holes, frayed and singed edges
Calloused hearts hardening despite the sweet rain
Beating back the pain until there is only numbness
…Taste it

You're so brilliant, don't soon forget. this is the correlation between who you are and what you've been.

Dropped my heart at the door,
and saw the pieces scatter on the floor.

Asked you to tell me what was happening,
demanded to know the secrets you keep hiding.

You could only smile and tell me to wait.
why do you like to frustrate the life out of me?

cities painted on canvas
like the swirling masses

cannot describe the desolation
we left behind in our hastened decision

we watched the house burn along with all the memories
that drained all the energy out of me. there is algebra in gasoline.

tell me where the interstate ends.
waiting for my world to cave underneath me again.

Broken mirrors and promises
like souls shattered messes

driving till the earth stops revolving
or the revolving door quits solving

too busy to notice the beauty in nature
nothing is sound yet all things we must endure

dreams. hopes. wishes. crumble in our fragile hands.
because we did not want to give them to the One with bigger plans.

You'll have to pry them from my cold dead fingers.
now all that's left is morbid silent screams of those old records.

Driving Lessons

((need to get that movie btw.))

((*cough* another good birthday gift idea*cough* ^.^))

Yeah. My dad took me driving several times around the block today. It was unnerving, but my dad said I had definately learned some skills in my first lesson. When you get behind that wheel you have power... and it is flippin scary. omg! lemme tell you, but I seem to keep a good head under pressure. I noticed that when I nearly lost control of the wheel and almost crashed into the curb. It was a close save... too close... anyways... the stephenie meyer website has some new updates on the Twilight movie that's coming out in December. ((*groan* so painfully far away... not that my parents would probably let me watch it anyways... -.-**)) They made the Cedric Diggory guy look... o.0; i dunno, weird. ((DANGG... i can never remember his proper name... xPP gr....)) like he looks younger and older at the same time.



the guy who is in this one is MUCH more suitable for Edward. *squee* ^.^

Sensations

Strange feelings I can't explain
It's almost a nostalgic sort of thing
when i think about him
my head spins
i feel dizzy and light-headed
sweet dear what is this odd mindset
i see down the road is clear and wet
the rain has washed the path clean
making everything seem beautiful
If I think about living without him my stomach churns
when i think of a life forever with him my heart burns
now i know I love him to death and cannot live without him
if i cannot spend the rest of my days with him, i shall not love any other man
after all,

no self-respecting man is expected
to go on loving once he's been rejected

In the Middle of It All

So I'm sitting here in fourth period in my online creative writing class. I'm done all my work. I've been bummin the last two days in this class. I have a really excellent story idea, but whenever I try to write down something, I get new ideas, but those new ideas don't fit with the old ones I've already written down and I'm doing the story in pen and I really hate to rip out pages and start over but it's looking like that's what I'm going to have to do. Some of the stuff I put in there is kinda really retarded, but other stuff is keepable. I'm thinkin I'm gonna get my friend Lindsey Bostick to help me write it, cuz she really wants to do that and I'm struggling to strand my ideas together properly so, yeah. I know I haven't written in like a superbly long time, but one i've been grounded and two my life is a complete snore-fest. My parents won't let me read the book I wanna read and that depresses and frustrates the life outta me. plus I'm feeling like the ultimate hypocrite cuz of stuff that's happening on the bus. Man, I wish i could freakin drive. I hate this crap. oye. anyways... yeah... i guess this entry is pretty much a vent of what's happened in no detail at all. Which is weird for me cuz usually i have to go and scrutinize every tiny event that occurs in my life but lately I've just been like "bleh" about all of it. I'm like, "you know what? screw this. this is retarded." Anyways... I'm trying to read the Bible thru in a year. heh. good luck with that one. I still haven't read the passages for today. I think I might read them at lunch. or try to anyways... hopefully the scriptures will act as a "re-sensitizing" mechanism and I can get my head back where it needs to be. Lord knows it's been too long since I've had a good healthy dose of reality.

You know when a rat finds a new dumpster full of newly chucked food and he thinks he'll be dining like a king? Then when he eats it he doesn't know what it is but it tastes really good. He doesn't realize he's eating poisoned food that will make him sick. Then it's like a little boy finds him walking around one day and thinks he looks cute so he takes the rat home and starts feeding it proper food. It doesn't taste right. In fact it tastes downright foul, but the rat somehow warms up to the good food and realizes what he was eating before wasn't good for him. Well... I was that rat... and the little boy who found me... was God. Just puts in perspective how good I feel about myself right about now. *sarcasm* But then there's no mom to go and scream at the little boy and tell him to get the vermin out of the house. Which I am EXTREMELY happy about. xP